Sentence 1. I stare into his eyes,as if into a crystal ball, but I cannot find forever, only movies of yesterday, a sketchbook of today, dreams of a shared tomorrow.
-A cumulative sentence that continues its description into not only looks but time as well. This passage was from Ellen Hopkins's book called Tricks.
I gaze at the painting, as if at the real scene, but somethings missing, not from the past, not from the present, but from the all to soon future.
Sentence 2. Will I burn if I kiss you?
-A rhetorical question that is also a simple sentence asking a simple question. Ellen Hopkins wrote this passage in her most recently published book, Tricks.
Would he die if he choose them?
Sentence 3. In the closet, itching for breakout, but afraid of the fallout.
-A complete sentence that describes the characters internal conflict. From Ellen Hopkins's Tricks.
Out of sight, sitting here thinking, and feeling that of sinking.
Sentence 4. Hear my tears, fear my pain.
- This passage repeats the sound of the last symbol of the first word and repeats the whole second word. Tricks by Ellen Hopkins
Gain for self, pain for loss.
Sentence 5. Loss is loss.
-This sentence has a repetition that uses an article to separate the two. This was written by Ellen Hopkins in her book Tricks.
Fear as fear.
Sentence 6. I followed him, he tossed me away.
-This sentence is interesting because it sort of uses antithesis by showing both sides of the story. By Ellen Hopkins in her book Tricks.
She hated him, he loved her anyway.
Sentence 7. You can't eat, can't sleep,can't concentrate on simple things.
-This sentence from Ellen Hopkins's book Tricks shows repetition and balance by using the rule of threes.
I could leave, could quit, could look at the boss's face.
Sentence 8. A kiss means love.
A simple sentence that is also a comparison. From Ellen Hopkins's book Tricks.
The symbolism is like forever.
Sentence 9. No way to hit reverse, turn around, go back home.
A periodical sentence that is uses symbolism. From Ellen Hopkins's Tricks.
One direction for straight ahead, go forward, make it there.
Sentence 10. Part him, part mom.
A perfectly balanced sentence. By Ellen Hopkins in her book Tricks.
One spoon, one fork.
Sentence 11. The hum changes to a steady blip...blip...blip....
The sentence uses the rule of threes with onomatopoeias and ellipsis points to make the moment more dramatic. From Ellen Hopkins's Tricks.
The sink stays at a constant drip...drip...drip....
Sentence 12. Prostitution is not a glamorous profession.
A simple statement that is very blunt in it's reasoning. This passage was taken out of the Author's Note in Tricks, by Ellen Hopkins.
Chores are never a fun experience.
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I love Sentence 1--what a beautiful sentence. Sentence 3 is actually a fragment. In Sentence five, "is" is a verb, not an article. Sentence 7 is also a classic example of asyndeton. In sentence 8, your sentence adds the word "like," changing the intent of the original sentence. Sentence 9 is using metaphor, rather than symbolism. She's comparing driving to--whatever it's talking about at this point in the book. This is also asyndeton. Sentence 10 is not a balanced sentence b/c it's a fragment!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your sentences!